Life at TJ's Place
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Last night a muscular young guy wearing sunglasses came into the club and sat at the stage, but refused to tip or let any girls dance for him. He just sat there with his arms crossed and stared straight ahead and drank orange juice. After awhile, people lost interest in him because he was boring and there were naked women on stage. He finally realized that he hadn’t made the splash he thought he would and got up and left. Somebody yelled "Bye, fuckhead!" when he was almost out the door and everybody laughed.

Also, Walt went outside to smoke around 12:30 am and found a kid pissing down on the hood of somebody's car from our deck. Walt said he was pissing in an arc that peaked about 4 feet above the kid's head, like a Las Vegas fountain. Walt yelled at him and the kid took off. I asked Walt if he chased the guy and he said no. He said, "I can't piss without dribbling on my shoes, how the fuck am I going to chase that kid?" I have not stopped laughing.
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
I just discovered TerraServer USA: I'm addicted. See a zoomable satellite photo of any point in the continental USA. Here are the last 5 things I looked down at from high above:

1) Mt. Ranier and Mt. Saint Helens (Ranier looks really cool)
2) The house where I lost my virginity. It is a very small house and I don't remember that tree being there. The photo was actually taken the same year I lost my virginity! Just think, underneath that roof, Kev could be giving his girlfriend the greatest 9 seconds of her life.
3) The Royal Gorge Bridge in Colorado (this took about 30 minutes to find and was kind of a dud when I did find it).
4) The house I lived in from ages 0-4.
5) The Assembly Hall and Memorial Field in Champaign, Illinois (Fighting Illini football and basketball venues). If you look real close, you'll see the Chief, dancing in the parking lot. (just kidding)

Notice how “Area 51” north of Las Vegas is all whited-out.
Sunday, April 04, 2004
The golf season is in full swing here. I golfed for the first time today. My short game was good (I have a long run from my kitchen through the living room and into the back hallway where I chip and putt all winter), but I was terrible with my driver. I was a member at a country club last year, but I didn’t renew my membership this year because I didn’t golf half as much as I thought I would (I had envisioned golfing 4 or 5 mornings every week, impressing dates at dinner where the hostess would know my name, hanging at the bar after a round of golf and watching baseball games, but it just didn’t work out that way). I have a snap-hook tee-shot that my friends call “the Boomerang.” I once hit the Boomerang into a strong headwind; it made it 200 yards down the fairway, stopped, turned left 180 degrees, and eventually came to rest near the front of the tee box. One of the guys in my foursome who had never witnessed the Boomerang shouted, "Holy shit!" as the ball's left engine flared out and it started to bank hard. I usually straighten the Boomerang out about late-August (by “straight” I mean gentle draws), and during September I am hard to beat.

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